Mid-Valley Voice

Formulating the Guest List

Everyone looks forward to attending a wedding. It's an opportunity for family and friends to share the happiness that surrounds two people who are in love.

However, selecting which family and friends will witness that happiness can sometimes lead to tension. Although it may be impossible to invite everyone you, your fiancé and both sets of parents want to include, you can devise your invitee list in a logical way. As you begin to formulate your guest list, consider the following factors:

How many people can the facilities hold? Both the ceremony site and reception location can legally accommodate only a specific number of people. If you want small, intimate venues, you are going to need a small, intimate guest list. If including more people is important to you, find venues that can hold everyone comfortably.

What's for dinner (and how much is it)? The highest ticket item in a wedding is usually the reception meal. Catering fees are based on a per-person basis. Depending on the number of courses, the quality of liquor at your bar and the dining style, your price can range from $10 to $200 per person. The more people you invite, the bigger the chunk of your overall wedding budget.

Who's paying the bills? It is only right that the individuals paying the bills help determine how many people to invite.

If the bride and groom are paying, they may decide to split the total number of guests between the two families or by three: the bride's parents, the groom's parents and the couple. If the bride's parents are paying, take their wishes into account and compromise.

Adding a few extra guests to a large wedding won't make a big difference. However, when you're trying to keep things as small and intimate as possible, each person adds up.

You may want to start the guest list process by making a "dream team" list of wedding guests, including each and every person the parents and the couple want to invite. Then look to the venues' maximum capacity, your budget, and whoever is signing the checks, to help determine which guests make the cut.

Wedding Invitations - Everything You Need to Know

Since your wedding invitation is the first thing your guests see in conjunction with your wedding, they should be selected and composed with care.

Invitation components: Your wedding invitation comprises more than just a request to attend. There are specific elements that guests should receive within your invitation.

The invitation itself invites guests to attend your marriage by listing your wedding date, time and location. It can include your parents' names or just your own. It can be worded formally or informally. Take a look at different wording styles, or ask your invitation salesperson to help you determine the wording most appropriate for you.

The reception card lists the time and location of your reception.

The response card gives guests the opportunity to RSVP for your wedding - accept or decline. The response cards are vital, since they provide an approximate guest count for the reception. Don't forget to list a "respond by" date approximately two weeks before your final head count is due to the reception facility and/or caterer.

The response envelope should be stamped and pre-printed with the name and address of the individual(s) receiving the responses.

Maps with directions to the ceremony location and reception site should be included. You can have them printed or just run off informal copies. However, make sure the maps are clear - some reproduce poorly and are then hard to follow.

Inner envelopes contain all the components of the wedding invitation.

The inner envelopes are placed within the outer envelopes, which are addressed and stamped for mailing.

Depending on the circumstances of your wedding, you may also want to include the following enclosures:

Travel and accommodation information if you're inviting guests who are from out of town.

A schedule if the events of your wedding are spread out over a long weekend.

When to order: Order your invitations, envelopes, as well as reception and response cards at least four months before your wedding to ensure that you will be able to stuff and address them in time for mailing. Invitations should arrive in guests' hands approximately six weeks before your wedding day.

Where to get your invitations: There are many options for ordering wedding invitations. Here are a few standards and some ideas you may not have considered:

- Large stationary chains have great selections of catalogs to browse through where you can find samples of many types of invitations. You can see first-hand the style that suits you best. Large stores work with professional printers and printing companies.

- An online stationary site or mail-order catalog allows you the convenience of invitation shopping from the comfort of home. You can find and select your invitation, submit the wording and information, and place your order without leaving home. With the hectic pace that comes with planning your wedding, it may be a relief to shop for invitations whenever you have a free moment. But, as when you order anything online or from catalogs, you may end up with invitations different than you expected since you can't see or touch a sample. Looks can definitely be deceiving, so order carefully.

- A small, local stationary shop/printer may have a smaller selection of invitations from which to choose, but they may provide exceptional service. They may have more options on the printing and collating side, such as multiple ink colors, as well as assembly and stuffing of the invitations and envelopes. This service can be especially handy if you have a large guest list and/or an invitation with a decorative element like ribbons that need to be tied. However, this type service will add to your expenses. And smaller shops may need more time to fill your order.

- Enlist a graphic designer whose work you are familiar with and who is capable of designing an invitation for you. That way your invitation is sure to be personal and unique. Keep in mind, you will need to find a printer, although the graphic designer may be able to recommend one. Since this process takes some time, start early.

- Log on to your computer and make your own invitation. There are many programs with different borders, fonts and colors you can use in your design. Use a good paper stock and go to a reputable printer. Although this option is personal and economical, it also may be the most labor intensive for you.

Printing styles: There are various types of printing processes available for invitations. Pick the style you like best and don't forget to make sure it fits within your budget.

- Engraving, the most formal, has slightly raised letters resulting from the paper being pressed on a metal plate. This traditional printing process is the most expensive.

- Thermography combines ink with powder to create raised letters on paper. Since there are no plates involved, the process is quicker - and less expensive - than engraved invitations.

- Offset printing is a standard printing process where the ink lies flat on the paper. If you're looking for a more casual option, offset may be the way to go.

Get With the Program

Your wedding program is not only a keepsake for your guests, it also lets them participate in and more fully enjoy your ceremony.

From the moment guests arrive, the program sets the tone with your theme, your colors, and the events that will take place during your wedding.

Information to include:

- On the front cover, you will want to include your name and the name of your fiance, the date, time and ceremony location. You may also want to include the overriding motif if you're incorporating one - such as a flower or a leaf.

- On the inside, list the order of events during the ceremony, including the titles of all musical selections (from the prelude to the recessional); the readings and names of the readers; and any traditions you're performing (i.e., lighting the unity candle, breaking the glass). Your officiant can help you list the different parts of the ceremony.

- On the back cover, list the members of your wedding party and their relationship to you. The back cover also is good place to list any "thank you" messages you'd like to make. For instance, you may wish to acknowledge your parents, the wedding coordinator and/or officiant. If you're including a memorial to a departed loved one, list it here.

- Some programs also have an insert sheet that lists your address, phone number and e-mail address. This information is especially important if you are moving to a new residence. Your guests will be able to include you in their address books without having to call your family or friends for the information.

Printing and assembly:

- Some invitation styles have a coordinating program. You will need to provide the information you want in the program to your invitation vendor. When picking the program's font and ink color, you should use the same font and ink color as you did for the invitation. Thus, the program complements or matches your invitation.

- You could layout your program on your home computer with simple word processing software. Do choose an elegant font for your type.

- For decoration, a ribbon (in your main wedding color or the same color as the ink) laced through the spine of the program and tied in a knot or a bow makes an elegant statement. Some couples even include subtle beading on the ribbon for added sparkle.

Distribution: Ask a good friend or family member who you'd like to include in the wedding festivities to hand out programs. The programs can be placed in baskets decorated with your colors that are then held by one or two program distributors.

Often, two individuals hand out programs - one for each side of the church. They should be standing at the entrance from the time that the doors open until the doors close for the beginning of the processional.