Mid-Valley Voice

Wedding Shower 101

As the hostess, you are basically planning a party that anticipates an even bigger party. And the guest of honor is someone who is close to you. So you'll want to make every effort to make the bride or the couple happy.

Take a moment to review the following basic information regarding how to plan a wedding shower.

Hostess(es)

Traditionally, the honor attendant serves as shower hostess. She can request help from members of the wedding party.

Co-workers, female relatives of the bride or the groom, can throw additional showers. Usually the mothers of the bride and groom do not serve as hostesses, but they may help out behind the scenes. Other close friends who are not in the wedding party may throw a shower. This customs is especially prevalent for small wedding parties.

Budget

How much do you want to spend on the shower? Who is contributing? First, find out how much money you have to work with, then pick a location and theme.

Date/Time

Showers are traditionally held from six months before the wedding to a week before. Prior to picking a date and time, decide where you want to hold the shower since location availability will be a factor. Try to pick a day and time most of the guests will have open. This usually means weekend afternoons. However, work-day showers can be held during lunch hour or immediately after work. Evening get-togethers are also an option.

Surprise (?)

Planning a surprise shower can be challenging but well worth the look of shock on the bride's countenance or on the faces of the couple when they enter the room. Make this decision early, since it will affect how you proceed with the details.

The guest list

If the bride knows about the shower, ask her to help with the guest list. If you want it to be a surprise, consult with her mom, her sister or the groom (if it's not a couples shower). Make sure friends and family of the bride and groom are invited, as well as the wedding party. Everyone invited to the shower also should be on the wedding guest list.

Invitations

Invitations can be formal or casual, matching the theme of the festivities. They can be printed or fill-in-the-blank.

Send them out four to six weeks before the day to guarantee each guest gets the invitation in time to mark the shower on his or her calendar. Request an RSVP by two weeks before the party.

Gifts

Make sure the bride and groom have registered before the shower. Include information on where guests can purchase gifts along with the invitations.

Shower Locations and Themes

Like the wedding itself, a wedding shower can be as casual or as formal as the planners choose.

A homegrown affair. For a more intimate, casual shower, consider holding one at your home. Before you volunteer your house, be certain you have ample room for the guests. Will there be enough seating? Bathrooms? Refrigerator space for the food that will be served? At a shower, you want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves. Close quarters are not enjoyable.

A backyard barbeque. On a warm afternoon or evening, consider having the shower outside, where there is room to mingle. Hang outdoor lights, serve tropical drinks and have someone at the grill. Again, make sure you can accommodate the number of guests you're inviting. Make sure there's enough seating and bathrooms. And have a back-up plan in case of inclement weather.

Afternoon tea. There are many area tearooms that provide a Victorian atmosphere. You can go the whole nine yards and ask guests to dress the part with gloves and hats. Or go for casual elegance. Either way, a happy bride-to-be, tasty tea and crust-less sandwiches add up to a party made in heaven.

Time for wine. One of the St. Louis region's many wineries can provide wine for every taste, wonderful foods and even entertainment (on specified days and times). You may want to consider hiring transportation for guests, so there's a designated driver before you start. A winery shower can be particularly festive during the strawberry festival or Octoberfest.

Evening cocktails. An evening affair at a fashionable restaurant or bar could be an elegant alternative for a shower.

Sporting news. If the bride and groom are big sports fans, consider renting a suite at Busch Stadium, the Edward Jones Dome or Savvis Center to watch a Cardinals, Rams or Blues game. Offer hot dogs, popcorn, beer and soda. Don't forget to check security restrictions on packages.

A bunch for brunch. Consider having a Sunday brunch either at a restaurant or at home.

Honeymoon preview. Does the couple know where they're honeymooning? If they're heading for Cancun, have the shower at a Mexican restaurant. Bound for Hawaii? Have a luau. Exploring the Eternal City of Rome? Head to the Hill for an Italian feast.

Spa day. Gather the girls for a day of pampering. Some spas have packages available that include a variety of services, from manicures and pedicures to facials and massages. The staff should provide a private room where you can do the gift exchange and serve a healthy, spa-worthy meal.

Bare-Faced Beauty - Your Wedding Day Complexion

It is true when they say that beauty is skin deep. So you should do your best to take care of your complexion to ensure radiant skin. Following are some steps to make sure your complexion is in the best shape possible on your wedding day.

Six months before your wedding, consult a skin care specialist or dermatologist for a good cleansing program. An expert can help you determine what kinds of products will work best with your skin type. He or she also can help you figure out how to take care of any problem areas.

Take a serious look at your nutrition. If you don't already do so, start drinking at least eight glasses of water a day. Water not only hydrates you, but also leads to clear skin.

Stay away from caffeine. Avoid items such as tea, coffee and soda, as well as greasy foods. Start paying attention to what you eat. Veggies and fruits are better for your skin than fast food.

Approximately three to four months before your wedding make an appointment for a facial. Make sure the spa you select has licensed clinicians working on your skin.

Let the person performing your service know what the skin care expert or dermatologist said about your skin and what products you use. He or she can tailor the facial so it doesn't aggravate your skin.

If you enjoy the experience and have good results (clear, smooth skin), consider scheduling regular facial appointments before your wedding.

Now is a good time to experiment with self-tanners if you think you'll want a little color for your wedding. Test several brands to see which shows the best color and how they otherwise react to your skin. Obviously, you won't want to use any product that causes break outs, splotches or other irritations. Find out the method of application that best works for you.

Six weeks before your wedding is a good time to do a trial run of any professional waxing services you may need from eyebrows, to upper lip, to bikini waxes - especially if you're planning on wearing swimsuits on your honeymoon.

Determine how your skin reacts to the waxing. Some people have no reaction at all. Others experience extreme redness, bumps and irritation. Find out now how you can best take care of your skin's reaction so you'll know what to do for your next appointment.

Nothing looks better against clear skin that a bright, white smile. Try whitening toothpaste or professional bleaching to make your smile brighter than it's been in years.

Two weeks before your wedding keep up the good work. Even though things are probably getting hectic, make sure you follow your skin care regime and continue drinking plenty of water. And no matter how rushed you are, try to limit your fast food intake. Grease is a complexion destroyer!

One week before your wedding, have your final waxing appointments and facial before the wedding. Make sure this last facial is gentle and relaxing. You won't want to have any extractions or do anything that may irritate your skin so close to the big day.

Bridal Headpieces and Accessories

Now that you've chosen your bridal gown, it's time to put the icing on the cake!

Shopping for a headpiece, veil and other accessories gives you a chance to put your personal stamp on your wedding day appearance. Keep in mind that your personality can most come through with accessories that complement, not exactly match, your gown.

The following information on headpieces, veils and other accessories can help you appear exactly as you want on your wedding day.

Headpieces: When you meet with your hairstylist for your wedding hair consultation, the two of you can determine what hairstyle suits your face shape: updo, loose and flowing, or somewhere in between. Then you can consider what headpiece would best complement your gown and your hairstyle. Here are a few of the most popular:

- A bunwrap is a decorative circular band that gets wrapped around a chignon or updo. Bunwraps look best with traditional, simple gowns.

- A crown is a full, high circular piece that circles a bun or updo and is adorned with gems or beads. If your dress has some embellishment, a crown can tie the look together.

- A headband is a half-circle band of either plain fabric or fabric embellished with gems and beads. Headbands also are available in styles that have a wider middle, and tapered ends.

- A tiara is a jeweled or beaded semi-circle that sits on top of the head and can give a bride a regal look.

- A wreath may be a good match for a flowing ethereal gown. It features a full circle of flowers and ribbon that rests on the crown of the head. A wreath looks best with a loose, flowing hairstyle.

Veils: A veil, once a must-have for all weddings, is now more of an optional accessory. Whether or not you want to wear a veil depends on your personality, the style of gown you are wearing and the overall feel of your wedding. Veils are seen most often at more formal, elegant weddings.

When you're considering veils, first look in the mirror. The shape of your face - whether soft and curved or more angular - will help determine what kind of veil you should have.

- A round-faced bride should consider a veil that falls along the sides of the face, helping it to appear more narrow. This effect is further complemented by hair worn down in loose curls or a bob.

- A square jawline can be softened by a longer veil and loose tendrils surrounding the face.

- An oblong face - or longer oval - looks good with a veil that adds width. A "waterfall" veil paired with a simple updo and elegant headpiece looks wonderful. However, stay away from high-piled hairstyles that accentuate the face length.

- For a heart-shaped or triangular face, consider a veil that attaches behind the neckline - best with a chignon.

- A bride with a diamond or oval face has limitless options, since those shapes are symmetrical.

Accessories: There are more accessories that you can use to further personalize your wedding day look.

- A shawl or wrap can accentuate your dress and keep you warm.

- Your shoes, no matter what style you choose, should be comfortable.

- Gloves can add that extra touch of elegance to any gown.

- Your engagement ring and wedding band(s) will be slipped on your finger during the ceremony.

- A necklace can accentuate certain necklines.

- Earrings should be ornate with a simple gown, or simple when worn with an embellished gown or other extravagant jewelry.

- Bracelets can add subtle sparkle but shouldn't take away from your rings.

- A watch is only appropriate if it has sentimental value.

Little Tykes - Ringbearer Fashion

Little boys can be hard to keep up with, especially at a wedding. It is often said that no one has a better time at the reception than the ringbearer. With adorable antics, he could steal the show. And he should be wearing attire that is scene-stealing appropriate.

The ringbearer can wear the same style attire as the groomsmen if a tuxedo is available in children's sizes. They reflect a 'younger version' of the groom.

If you don't want to put the little guy in a tuxedo, for a fall or winter wedding, he can wear a satin or velvet suit in a color that complements the bridesmaids' gowns. In spring and summer, consider a seersucker or sailor suit.

Whatever your ringbearer wears, make sure that the outfit fits him and that he is comfortable. You don't want his tuxedo jacket to mysteriously disappear, never to be seen again. Or find he has decided to strip off the offending clothing article during the ceremony - now that's a scene stealer!

Bridesmaid Beauty - Picking the Perfect Gowns

Everyone has heard the dreaded stories about all the ugly bridesmaids' dresses sitting in the back of women's closets. Not only are they never to be worn again, but they also cost an exorbitant amount of money.

To help ensure that your name will not be added to the list of "good friend, bad bride," there are many factors to take into account when selecting bridesmaids' gowns:

- Decide how you want the bridesmaid dresses to complement your bridal gown. If the bridal gown is simple, you don't want to select ornate bridesmaids' gowns.

- Consider the complexions and hair colors of your bridesmaids before choosing a color. Choose colors you think will look good on all of your bridesmaids.

- Choose a style that flatters the different sizes and shapes of your bridesmaids. Sure, that strapless tube dress may look wonderful on the model in your wedding magazine. But if you were a bridesmaid, would you feel comfortable in it? Keep in mind that simple, elegant styles can make all your bridesmaids happy.

- Ask your maid or matron of honor to be in charge of helping the other bridesmaids with their gowns.

- Keep cost in the front of your mind. You shouldn't ask your bridesmaids to pay more than $100 to $300 for the entire ensemble.

- Take your honor attendant and/or some other bridesmaids with you to look. You may get some insight into what they're looking for when you see the styles they gravitate toward.

Marriage Makeup

When thinking about the makeup you'll wear on your wedding day, there are many factors to take into account.

Do-It-Yourself or Hire an Expert? For some women, picking out and applying makeup comes naturally. For others it can be a challenge.

If you have a steady hand and a good eye for makeup trends and colors, hit the cosmetic counters yourself. There should be salespeople on hand who can give you tips on colors and application.

If the thought of visiting a makeup counter alone and then applying the makeup that will be seen by all your guests and in photographs makes you nervous, consider hiring a makeup artist. But first, do your research.

Ask your hairstylist or someone else at the salon that you frequent if they have any suggestions. Then schedule a consultation.

During the consultation, show your makeup artist a Polaroid of your dress, headpiece and veil. Discuss what you think you may be doing with your hair. Then see if he or she suggests suitable makeup.

Deciding What to Emphasize: The feature you decide to emphasize depends upon the facial feature you think is most flattering and the style of your wedding. When you emphasize one feature, the rest of your makeup must be toned down.

For instance, don't combine strong cheeks, eyes and lips. You want to look like a better version of yourself, not someone that wears too much makeup.

- Emphasize your cheeks if you have high cheekbones and good "apples." A look with flushed cheeks could complement a flowing, airy gown and an outdoor wedding. Make sure you apply with a light hand, though. You don't want it to look like you have two red dots.

- Emphasize your eyes if you want a more modern look. Kohl-rimmed eyes are still fashionable but it can be a hard look to pull off on your own. Go to either a makeup consultant at a cosmetic counter or consult a makeup artist on how to layer pearly gray, charcoal and black shadow and liner to create dramatic eyes.

- Strong red lips are very fashionable if your look is traditional, like that of a 1950's bride. Try to find the right shade of red for you. There are many varieties - blue-based reds, pinkish reds, orange reds and brown reds - to pick from these days. Learn to layer lip products properly for maximum staying power and minimum feathering. Again, consult a makeup expert or makeup artist on how to pull off this look.

Pulling Off the Natural Look: If you don't often wear makeup, the natural look may be best for you. That doesn't mean going without makeup.

It does mean that your makeup is applied with a soft touch and a subtle hand. A slight flush to your cheeks, some accentuation to draw attention to the eyes, lips that are just a shade darker than your natural color with lots of shine.

Keep in mind that for photographs and video footage, you will want slightly stronger makeup than you're used to for greater visibility.

Do a Test Run: Whatever style you select, whether you apply it yourself or have the help of a professional makeup artist, schedule a test run with your makeup. Apply it exactly as you plan to wear it on your wedding day, then take some snapshots. Analyze whether the makeup is too subtle, too dramatic or just right.

A perfect time for a makeup practice session is when you do the test run for your wedding hair - including your headpiece and veil. That way, you'll have a better idea of your complete look.

Pretty as a Petal - Flower Girl Fashion

When a little flower girl floats down the aisle at a wedding, she reminds the guests of what the bride must have been like as a child. And while you want her dress to match the overall scheme of the wedding, you don't want to choose anything that detracts from her girlish charm.

Pretty, feminine dresses continue to define the flower girl's image, as her dress traditionally is similar to the bridesmaids in color and style. Some brides prefer the flower girl's ensemble to resemble her own, using similar elements such as pearl beading or lace. It's not uncommon today to see flower girls mini veils to complement the bride's attire.

Another fashion trend is the inclusion of faux flower petals in the tulle overlay of the flower girls' skirt - as a subtle way to tie in the colors of the bride's floral bouquet.