Mid-Valley Voice

Wedding Shower 101

As the hostess, you are basically planning a party that anticipates an even bigger party. And the guest of honor is someone who is close to you. So you'll want to make every effort to make the bride or the couple happy.

Take a moment to review the following basic information regarding how to plan a wedding shower.

Hostess(es)

Traditionally, the honor attendant serves as shower hostess. She can request help from members of the wedding party.

Co-workers, female relatives of the bride or the groom, can throw additional showers. Usually the mothers of the bride and groom do not serve as hostesses, but they may help out behind the scenes. Other close friends who are not in the wedding party may throw a shower. This customs is especially prevalent for small wedding parties.

Budget

How much do you want to spend on the shower? Who is contributing? First, find out how much money you have to work with, then pick a location and theme.

Date/Time

Showers are traditionally held from six months before the wedding to a week before. Prior to picking a date and time, decide where you want to hold the shower since location availability will be a factor. Try to pick a day and time most of the guests will have open. This usually means weekend afternoons. However, work-day showers can be held during lunch hour or immediately after work. Evening get-togethers are also an option.

Surprise (?)

Planning a surprise shower can be challenging but well worth the look of shock on the bride's countenance or on the faces of the couple when they enter the room. Make this decision early, since it will affect how you proceed with the details.

The guest list

If the bride knows about the shower, ask her to help with the guest list. If you want it to be a surprise, consult with her mom, her sister or the groom (if it's not a couples shower). Make sure friends and family of the bride and groom are invited, as well as the wedding party. Everyone invited to the shower also should be on the wedding guest list.

Invitations

Invitations can be formal or casual, matching the theme of the festivities. They can be printed or fill-in-the-blank.

Send them out four to six weeks before the day to guarantee each guest gets the invitation in time to mark the shower on his or her calendar. Request an RSVP by two weeks before the party.

Gifts

Make sure the bride and groom have registered before the shower. Include information on where guests can purchase gifts along with the invitations.

Shower Locations and Themes

Like the wedding itself, a wedding shower can be as casual or as formal as the planners choose.

A homegrown affair. For a more intimate, casual shower, consider holding one at your home. Before you volunteer your house, be certain you have ample room for the guests. Will there be enough seating? Bathrooms? Refrigerator space for the food that will be served? At a shower, you want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves. Close quarters are not enjoyable.

A backyard barbeque. On a warm afternoon or evening, consider having the shower outside, where there is room to mingle. Hang outdoor lights, serve tropical drinks and have someone at the grill. Again, make sure you can accommodate the number of guests you're inviting. Make sure there's enough seating and bathrooms. And have a back-up plan in case of inclement weather.

Afternoon tea. There are many area tearooms that provide a Victorian atmosphere. You can go the whole nine yards and ask guests to dress the part with gloves and hats. Or go for casual elegance. Either way, a happy bride-to-be, tasty tea and crust-less sandwiches add up to a party made in heaven.

Time for wine. One of the St. Louis region's many wineries can provide wine for every taste, wonderful foods and even entertainment (on specified days and times). You may want to consider hiring transportation for guests, so there's a designated driver before you start. A winery shower can be particularly festive during the strawberry festival or Octoberfest.

Evening cocktails. An evening affair at a fashionable restaurant or bar could be an elegant alternative for a shower.

Sporting news. If the bride and groom are big sports fans, consider renting a suite at Busch Stadium, the Edward Jones Dome or Savvis Center to watch a Cardinals, Rams or Blues game. Offer hot dogs, popcorn, beer and soda. Don't forget to check security restrictions on packages.

A bunch for brunch. Consider having a Sunday brunch either at a restaurant or at home.

Honeymoon preview. Does the couple know where they're honeymooning? If they're heading for Cancun, have the shower at a Mexican restaurant. Bound for Hawaii? Have a luau. Exploring the Eternal City of Rome? Head to the Hill for an Italian feast.

Spa day. Gather the girls for a day of pampering. Some spas have packages available that include a variety of services, from manicures and pedicures to facials and massages. The staff should provide a private room where you can do the gift exchange and serve a healthy, spa-worthy meal.

Put on Your Dancing Shoes

Your reception will have some very special moments that you will remember the rest of your life, especially the ceremonial dances you share with your loved ones.

You'll want to select songs that suit you and your style. In addition, these musical selections should reflect your relationships with these special men in your life: your new husband, your father, stepfather, grandfather or uncles.

Check out the list below to find some melodious options for these dances. Then put on your dancing shoes.

The First Dance: Whether you prefer classic standards or something a little more modern, you can be sure to find the perfect song for your first dance as a married couple:

Standards:

• "At Last" (Etta James)
• "The Best Is Yet to Come" (Frank Sinatra)
• "Can't Help Falling in Love" (Elvis Presley)
• "Close to You" (The Carpenters)
• "Embraceable You" (Nat King Cole)
• "Here and Now" (Luther Vandross)
• "It Had to Be You" (Harry Connick Jr.)
• "Our Love Is Here to Stay" (Billie Holiday)
• "We've Only Just Begun" (The Carpenters)
• "Your Song" (Elton John)

Rock Power Ballads:

• "Amazed" (Lonestar)
• "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" (Aerosmith)
• "Open Arms" (Journey)
• "Time After Time" (Cyndi Lauper)
• "We Belong" (Pat Benatar)
• "You Got to Let Love Rule" (Lenny Kravitz)

Modern Marriage Music:

• "Crash" (Dave Matthews Band)
• "Ice Cream" (Sarah McLachlan)
• "In Your Eyes" (Peter Gabriel)
• "Kiss Me" (Six Pence None the Richer)
• "Let My Love Open the Door [to Your Heart]" (Pete Townsend)
• "Tonight, Tonight" (Smashing Pumpkins)
• "Wonderful Tonight" (Eric Clapton)

Father-Daughter Dance: Weddings are very emotional for the father-of-the-bride. He's just escorted his little girl down the aisle and presented her to her husband. The father-daughter dance, amidst all the activity that makes up a wedding, is a chance for dad and his daughter to spend some time together before she departs the family and begins her new life.

• "Butterfly Kisses" (Bob Carlisle)- Although this song may be a little sappy, it brings a tear to the eye of every father who's given away his daughter at the altar.
• "In My Life" (The Beatles)
• "Isn't She Lovely" (Stevie Wonder)
• "My Girl" (The Temptations)
• "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" (Maurice Chevalier)
• "Unforgettable" (Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole)
• "The Way You Look Tonight" (Frank Sinatra)

Mother-Son Dance: At his wedding, every man can be a mama's boy, at least while the mother-of-the-groom dances with her special guy.

• "Mama" (Boys II Men)
• "Mockingbird" (Carly Simon and James Taylor")
• "My Funny Valentine" (Frank Sinatra)
• "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" (Stevie Wonder)

Wedding Party Dance: They've been your friends, they've stood by you. Now, they'll dance with you. Pick a special song for your wedding party.

• "Friends Are Friends Forever" (Michael W. Smith)
• "I'll Remember" (Madonna)
• "I Will Remember You" (Sarah McLachlan)
• "Stand By Me" (Ben E. King)
• "You've Got a Friend" (James Taylor)

Bare-Faced Beauty - Your Wedding Day Complexion

It is true when they say that beauty is skin deep. So you should do your best to take care of your complexion to ensure radiant skin. Following are some steps to make sure your complexion is in the best shape possible on your wedding day.

Six months before your wedding, consult a skin care specialist or dermatologist for a good cleansing program. An expert can help you determine what kinds of products will work best with your skin type. He or she also can help you figure out how to take care of any problem areas.

Take a serious look at your nutrition. If you don't already do so, start drinking at least eight glasses of water a day. Water not only hydrates you, but also leads to clear skin.

Stay away from caffeine. Avoid items such as tea, coffee and soda, as well as greasy foods. Start paying attention to what you eat. Veggies and fruits are better for your skin than fast food.

Approximately three to four months before your wedding make an appointment for a facial. Make sure the spa you select has licensed clinicians working on your skin.

Let the person performing your service know what the skin care expert or dermatologist said about your skin and what products you use. He or she can tailor the facial so it doesn't aggravate your skin.

If you enjoy the experience and have good results (clear, smooth skin), consider scheduling regular facial appointments before your wedding.

Now is a good time to experiment with self-tanners if you think you'll want a little color for your wedding. Test several brands to see which shows the best color and how they otherwise react to your skin. Obviously, you won't want to use any product that causes break outs, splotches or other irritations. Find out the method of application that best works for you.

Six weeks before your wedding is a good time to do a trial run of any professional waxing services you may need from eyebrows, to upper lip, to bikini waxes - especially if you're planning on wearing swimsuits on your honeymoon.

Determine how your skin reacts to the waxing. Some people have no reaction at all. Others experience extreme redness, bumps and irritation. Find out now how you can best take care of your skin's reaction so you'll know what to do for your next appointment.

Nothing looks better against clear skin that a bright, white smile. Try whitening toothpaste or professional bleaching to make your smile brighter than it's been in years.

Two weeks before your wedding keep up the good work. Even though things are probably getting hectic, make sure you follow your skin care regime and continue drinking plenty of water. And no matter how rushed you are, try to limit your fast food intake. Grease is a complexion destroyer!

One week before your wedding, have your final waxing appointments and facial before the wedding. Make sure this last facial is gentle and relaxing. You won't want to have any extractions or do anything that may irritate your skin so close to the big day.

Bridal Gowns

Most women have dreamed about their wedding dress since they were little girls.

Your bridal gown is probably the biggest fashion purchase you will ever make. When you close your eyes and picture yourself in your wedding gown, what do you see? How do you make that vision a reality? Your goal should be to find the perfect dress - the one that turns you into the bride of your dreams. Don't settle for anything less.

Your Attitude and Style: As you go about planning your wedding, you are sure to have picked themes and styles that represent your personal tastes and preferences. That is what should drive your choice in a wedding gown.

The look and feel of the gown should reflect who you are and what you enjoy. Are you laid-back and casual? Do your wedding plans reflect that? Then so should your dress.

Or are you more conservative, a traditionalist? Then a more formal gown will naturally appeal to you.

The Best Gown for Different Shapes: Casual or formal, romantic or modern, the dress you pick should flatter your physical attributes. Take a moment to review the accompanying list of body types and the gown styles that best suit them.

- If you have an hourglass figure, with a full bust and hips and a thin waist, you have curves in all the right places. Consider an A-line gown with a sweetheart neckline to display your attributes to their best advantage.

- If you are short waisted, an A-line gown will elongate your figure. If you have toned arms and shoulders, consider a halter neckline. It will draw attention to that area.

- If you have a thick, undefined waist, try an empire-waist gown, which will give you a long, trim look.

- If you're full-figured, a ball gown will de-emphasize the body areas you want to hide. An A-line gown will create a slimming silhouette.

- If you're pear-shaped, with a small chest and heavier bottom, a strapless ball gown will cover the bottom and draw attention up. An off-the-shoulder neckline will give the illusion of balance between your top and bottom.

- If you are thin, a ball gown will emphasize your trim size and make you look like an elegant ballerina. A sheath always hangs beautifully on a slim body.

- If you are petite, go for a simple A-line gown or sheath. An elaborate ballgown style may appear to be wearing you.

Color (or Lack Thereof) and Embellishments: Believe it or not, bridal gowns come in many colors, although white remains the first choice of the modern bride. Colors such as soft pink, blue or green are new options. Metallics, like silver, gold and copper, are also becoming prominent.

For those brides who want to shine, some dresses come uniquely embellished. From rhinestones to pearl flowers, today's gowns shine with elegance. Or go glitzy with beading and embellishments in gold, silver, bronze and color overlays as dress accents.

Heading for the Stores: Once you have a firm idea of what you may see in the stores and what best suits you, it's time to start shopping. Bridal shops vary in policy, but keep in mind the following list of questions you should ask on the phone before you arrive in person.

- Will I need an appointment? Some shops require an appointment to even view bridal gowns.

- What are the hours? Some bridal shops are only open certain days during the week. Others keep evening hours only on specified days.

- Which designers does the store carry? If you've been pouring over wedding magazines and of course you have, you may have your heart set on a Vera Wang or a Scaasi.

- What range of prices and sizes are carried? At higher-end shops, you may not be able to find a bridal gown under $1,000. There are shops that specialize in plus-size dresses.

- Ask If you can look through the gowns yourself or will you have to look with a salesperson? Some shops have such vast inventory, they simply ask you the types of gowns you'd like to try on and then bring you samples to preview.

Take the following items with you when you're shopping for gowns:

- A strapless bra or bustier

- Panty hose

- A pair of shoes with the same type of heel as the ones you plan to wear for your wedding

- Your mom, sister(s), honor attendant and/or bridesmaids. Try to limit your group to three people. And do remember that the one person who really wants to be there is your mom!

After you've found the dress - and you'll know it when you see it - find out the following information from your salesperson.

- How long will it take for the dress to arrive? Can it be rushed if necessary? Although you know you should start shopping early, it may take you awhile to find the right gown.

- Will the dress you order look exactly like the one you try on? Make sure you're getting exactly what you want.

- Does the dress have a matching headpiece? While you might not want a headpiece that exactly matches your dress and may instead choose a complementary one, it's good to know whether you have the option.

- Does the store carry headpieces, or can they suggest a store with a good selection of headpieces? Your salesperson can either help you pick out a headpiece and veil, or direct you to a quality shop.

- What alterations will need to be done? How much will they cost and can you get a written estimate? Get everything in writing.

- If your bridesmaids order their dresses through this store, are there discounts available? Some stores offer a percentage off your gown or your bridesmaids' dresses if you order all from them.

- How much is the deposit? Some shops require a flat fee, others ask for a percentage of the overall price.

- What are the cancellation/refund policies? Check to see if there is a certain time period during which you can cancel your order and have your deposit refunded.

- When is the final balance due? Some stores require final payment before the dress comes in.

- Can the store list everything about the dress on the contract? As always - get everything in writing. For your gown, this means the designer's name, size, price, color, fabric, manufacturer, style number and delivery date.

Will you work with the same salesperson when you come in for fittings? Some salespeople are there to sell only. In that case, you'll deal with a different staffer for fittings.

Bridal Headpieces and Accessories

Now that you've chosen your bridal gown, it's time to put the icing on the cake!

Shopping for a headpiece, veil and other accessories gives you a chance to put your personal stamp on your wedding day appearance. Keep in mind that your personality can most come through with accessories that complement, not exactly match, your gown.

The following information on headpieces, veils and other accessories can help you appear exactly as you want on your wedding day.

Headpieces: When you meet with your hairstylist for your wedding hair consultation, the two of you can determine what hairstyle suits your face shape: updo, loose and flowing, or somewhere in between. Then you can consider what headpiece would best complement your gown and your hairstyle. Here are a few of the most popular:

- A bunwrap is a decorative circular band that gets wrapped around a chignon or updo. Bunwraps look best with traditional, simple gowns.

- A crown is a full, high circular piece that circles a bun or updo and is adorned with gems or beads. If your dress has some embellishment, a crown can tie the look together.

- A headband is a half-circle band of either plain fabric or fabric embellished with gems and beads. Headbands also are available in styles that have a wider middle, and tapered ends.

- A tiara is a jeweled or beaded semi-circle that sits on top of the head and can give a bride a regal look.

- A wreath may be a good match for a flowing ethereal gown. It features a full circle of flowers and ribbon that rests on the crown of the head. A wreath looks best with a loose, flowing hairstyle.

Veils: A veil, once a must-have for all weddings, is now more of an optional accessory. Whether or not you want to wear a veil depends on your personality, the style of gown you are wearing and the overall feel of your wedding. Veils are seen most often at more formal, elegant weddings.

When you're considering veils, first look in the mirror. The shape of your face - whether soft and curved or more angular - will help determine what kind of veil you should have.

- A round-faced bride should consider a veil that falls along the sides of the face, helping it to appear more narrow. This effect is further complemented by hair worn down in loose curls or a bob.

- A square jawline can be softened by a longer veil and loose tendrils surrounding the face.

- An oblong face - or longer oval - looks good with a veil that adds width. A "waterfall" veil paired with a simple updo and elegant headpiece looks wonderful. However, stay away from high-piled hairstyles that accentuate the face length.

- For a heart-shaped or triangular face, consider a veil that attaches behind the neckline - best with a chignon.

- A bride with a diamond or oval face has limitless options, since those shapes are symmetrical.

Accessories: There are more accessories that you can use to further personalize your wedding day look.

- A shawl or wrap can accentuate your dress and keep you warm.

- Your shoes, no matter what style you choose, should be comfortable.

- Gloves can add that extra touch of elegance to any gown.

- Your engagement ring and wedding band(s) will be slipped on your finger during the ceremony.

- A necklace can accentuate certain necklines.

- Earrings should be ornate with a simple gown, or simple when worn with an embellished gown or other extravagant jewelry.

- Bracelets can add subtle sparkle but shouldn't take away from your rings.

- A watch is only appropriate if it has sentimental value.

Marriage Makeup

When thinking about the makeup you'll wear on your wedding day, there are many factors to take into account.

Do-It-Yourself or Hire an Expert? For some women, picking out and applying makeup comes naturally. For others it can be a challenge.

If you have a steady hand and a good eye for makeup trends and colors, hit the cosmetic counters yourself. There should be salespeople on hand who can give you tips on colors and application.

If the thought of visiting a makeup counter alone and then applying the makeup that will be seen by all your guests and in photographs makes you nervous, consider hiring a makeup artist. But first, do your research.

Ask your hairstylist or someone else at the salon that you frequent if they have any suggestions. Then schedule a consultation.

During the consultation, show your makeup artist a Polaroid of your dress, headpiece and veil. Discuss what you think you may be doing with your hair. Then see if he or she suggests suitable makeup.

Deciding What to Emphasize: The feature you decide to emphasize depends upon the facial feature you think is most flattering and the style of your wedding. When you emphasize one feature, the rest of your makeup must be toned down.

For instance, don't combine strong cheeks, eyes and lips. You want to look like a better version of yourself, not someone that wears too much makeup.

- Emphasize your cheeks if you have high cheekbones and good "apples." A look with flushed cheeks could complement a flowing, airy gown and an outdoor wedding. Make sure you apply with a light hand, though. You don't want it to look like you have two red dots.

- Emphasize your eyes if you want a more modern look. Kohl-rimmed eyes are still fashionable but it can be a hard look to pull off on your own. Go to either a makeup consultant at a cosmetic counter or consult a makeup artist on how to layer pearly gray, charcoal and black shadow and liner to create dramatic eyes.

- Strong red lips are very fashionable if your look is traditional, like that of a 1950's bride. Try to find the right shade of red for you. There are many varieties - blue-based reds, pinkish reds, orange reds and brown reds - to pick from these days. Learn to layer lip products properly for maximum staying power and minimum feathering. Again, consult a makeup expert or makeup artist on how to pull off this look.

Pulling Off the Natural Look: If you don't often wear makeup, the natural look may be best for you. That doesn't mean going without makeup.

It does mean that your makeup is applied with a soft touch and a subtle hand. A slight flush to your cheeks, some accentuation to draw attention to the eyes, lips that are just a shade darker than your natural color with lots of shine.

Keep in mind that for photographs and video footage, you will want slightly stronger makeup than you're used to for greater visibility.

Do a Test Run: Whatever style you select, whether you apply it yourself or have the help of a professional makeup artist, schedule a test run with your makeup. Apply it exactly as you plan to wear it on your wedding day, then take some snapshots. Analyze whether the makeup is too subtle, too dramatic or just right.

A perfect time for a makeup practice session is when you do the test run for your wedding hair - including your headpiece and veil. That way, you'll have a better idea of your complete look.

Newlywed Nails

Beautiful Hands and Feet for Your Wedding Day: It's known as the ring shot - when your photographer takes a shot of your hand with a bright, shiny wedding ring on your ring finger, lovingly grasping the hand of your husband. The last thing anyone wants to see in the ring shot are discolored, jagged nails and ragged cuticles.

Not good with manicure tools? Here are some tips on nails that will make any ring look that much better.

Shape: Your fingernail beds - the nail area from your cuticle to the whites - have a distinct shape. Are they long, short or in between? When considering what shape to file your nails, look to your nail bed to guide you.

Pointed oval tips are best for those with long nail beds. Squared tips best suit short nail beds. And softly rounded tips complement any bed shape.

When it comes to your toes, the nails should be cut straight across. Then shape only the big toe slightly with a file.

Length: You don't want any snags on your wedding day, do you? With all of the handshaking, hugging, bouquet holding and cake slicing, you want fingernails you can work with. Keep nails fairly short or medium length. That way, you'll have less chance of having one break.

Color: Against a white wedding dress, soft neutral colors look best. Consider blush pink, pearl or opal. A French manicure looks very elegant and is perfect for a wedding.

For your toes, you could match your fingernails. French manicures look charming on toes. Or you could have your "something blue" on your feet - a bright blue nail polish could be fun if you're daring.

Fake It: If you're a closet nail biter, have weak nails or nails that just don't hold polish no matter what you do, fake it.

Two weeks before your wedding, get a full set of acrylic nails. They can be any length or shape you prefer. They're very durable, and polish never chips off them. You may need a little while to get used to them, but acrylic nails consistently look great. This will be especially nice when you're on your honeymoon and still have beautiful nails.

If you're concerned about harming your natural nail, just have the acrylic nails removed when you return from the honeymoon. Great looking nails at your wedding and on your honeymoon are well worth the price and effort.

The Mane Event

On your wedding, there are three words you do not want to hear - Bad Hair Day!

How can you prevent a coif nightmare just when you want your hair to look the best? Preparation!

After you purchase your wedding gown, you should have an idea of which way you want to wear your hair.

Your hair style should compliment the style of your gown. And it has to work with the head piece and veil (if applicable) you've chosen. Look in magazines for hairstyles that appeal to you and start a file to show a stylist.

Approximately six months before your wedding, consult with a hairstylist to figure out what you need to do now to get the hair you want for your wedding. That may mean growing a short style out, straightening, coloring or cutting. This is your last chance to make any drastic hair changes - anything you do now must be repairable by your wedding date if you don't like it.

Three to four months before your wedding, pull out your "hairstyle file" and a Polaroid of your dress and head piece.

Ask your hairstylist to start thinking about what styles he or she thinks would complement your gown, head piece and face shape - based on the preferences you've given. At this time, you should also set up all the appointments you'll need from that day until the wedding day.

Don't forget to schedule an appointment for the rehearsal dinner day, if you'd like to have a special hairstyle for that occasion.

About six weeks before your wedding, do a trial run of your wedding day hair, complete with your headpiece and veil. If you don't like what you see, your hairstylist will have plenty of time to go back to the drawing board to come up with a style that better suits you. While you have your hair done and headpiece and veil in place, it is a good time to do a test-run with your makeup as well. Either do it yourself or consult a makeup artist. Be careful not to get any of the cosmetics on your wedding day gear.

Two weeks before your wedding get a final haircut or trim to clean up any dull, split ends you may have. Remind your groom to get a final trim as well. This is also an ideal time for a final trail run. Make sure your hair looks the way you always dreamed it would. You still have time to come up with something different if you're not happy. Don't settle for a hairstyle you don't love.

One to two days before the wedding go in for your rehearsal hair appointment. If your wedding day hair is more formal, try something fun and trendy for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. If your wedding hair is loose and romantic, try something sleek and modern. While your hair is being done, take time to go over all your wedding hair details to be certain you have everything organized and ready to go for your big day.

On your wedding day, after eating a healthy breakfast, wash your hair and thoroughly dry it. You may even want to put your hair in hot rollers before you go in for your appointment to save some time (hot rollers should create body, not tight curls - consult with your stylist). Make sure to wear a low-collared robe or button-front shirt so you won't ruin your hair changing into your dress.

Once you get to your salon, sit back in the chair and enjoy these few peaceful moments.